Cosmetology
by Anriko
Summary: Short drabble done on a whim. ZackSephiroth. YAOI.


Breaking brains was one of his specialties. Well, aside from fucking like an animal, of course; he thought he was quite good at that. Some days, however, the looks on people's faces when they found out were well worth it. Cloud had just laughed helplessly. Now, he was going to find out what the General thought -- assuming he lived through the night to recount it.  
  
He'd found him in the usual spot; the secluded office with the desk piled high with papers and files and all kinds of miscellany. "Geeeeeeeeenral," he chirped obscenely cheerfully as he slammed the door behind him, like usual, and set to spinning about in the chair before the desk. "I've got something for you."  
  
A heavy sigh came from behind the Pile, as Cloud had dubbed it one drunken night. "What is it now, Zack?"  
  
"Guess," Zack said mischeviously, continuing to spin in the chair, kicking up a small breeze as he did so and ruffling several of the papers. "Come on, you know you wanna."  
  
"I haven't time to play games, Zack," Sephiroth replied cautiously after a moment. "Either tell me what you want or grab some papers and start stamping."  
  
"I have a better idea," Zack said smugly, diving over the Pile and scattering it everywhere, grabbing Sephiroth's wrist and hauling him to his feet, the resulting breeze sending the rest of the Pile to the floor in an avalanche of paper and paper clips and file folders, before cheerfully dragging Shinra's top SOLDIER after him down the halls, ignoring his protests, and to his quarters, where he practically shoved him into a chair in the living room and scurried off to the kitchen, returning with a pile of chocolate chip cookies and a gloppy, foul-smelling mixture in a bowl.  
  
"What is this about?" Sephiroth demanded, irritated. Zack just smiled chipperly and shoved a chocolate chip cookie into his mouth; another specialty of his he'd picked up in his endless quest to get laid as often as he could. Then he practically pushed Sephiroth back into a reclining position and began happily glopping the evil-smelling mixture into the General's hair, making a sticky-white mess of the silver locks, and then slapping a shower cap over the whole thing.   
  
"Don't move, now," he chirped before heading into the kitchen and returning with yet more cookies.  
  
Sephiroth finished chewing the cookie, not quite in so much of a hurry to get up and run now. "What in the seven hells are you doing, Zack?" he inquired, wondering if his head was supposed to make that squishing sound.  
  
"Shut up and eat your cookies." Zack's hand unfastened Sephiroth's coat and shoved it down, off his shoulders, before digging his fingers roughly into the General's shoulders, wreaking havoc on the muscles there. Sephiroth took another cookie and chewed on it even as Zack continued what he thought was a massage, but in reality felt akin to having a Behemoth tapdancing on his back and shoulders. The thought was appreciated, though.  
  
"Zack?"  
  
"Yeees?"  
  
"What is that stuff you just put on my hair?"  
  
"Something to keep you from getting any more split ends," Zack said chipperly, shoving another cookie at him.  
  
"And how do you know that?" Sephiroth enquired, not really sure he wanted to know.  
  
Zack's face split from ear to ear with a gleeful grin. "Oh, I went to cosmetology school for a while. Did you know I'm a licensed hairdresser?" He bit back a laugh as the General's expression changed and he coughed rapidly, trying to get the bit of cookie he'd inhaled out of his windpipe. "You all right?"  
  
"I shouldn't have asked," Sephiroth muttered to himself. "And why was that?"  
  
"To pick up chicks," Zack purred mischeviously.  
  
"I should have known," the General muttered, finishing the half-eaten cookie. "And how do you propose to get it out?"  
  
Zack merely grabbed Sephiroth's wrist and hauled him up and into the bathroom; in mere moments, the hot water was running, they were both naked, and Zack had managed to 'persuade' Sephiroth into letting him be in charge this time. The steam and Zack's well-versed hands took care of the rest, and some time thereafter twin howls of pleasure echoed in the (soundproofed) bathroom.  
  
Zack took up the comb and began running it through Sephiroth's locks as he sat on the bed, a towel wrapped about his waist. "So what do you think?" he asked chipperly.  
  
"...that you need to do my hair more often," Sephiroth admitted after a moment.   
  
Zack merely smiled and continued to detangle his superior's hair. 


End file.
